Black Love
Ok, I was reading a friends blog about hitting the town, and she was expressing her dismay that she wasn't approached by any black men. This brings me to a frequently discussed dilemma... what accounts for the critical disconnect between black women and men? I have a friend that recently ended a long term, long distance relationship... what struck me as sad though was the fact that the woman had just gotten her Ph.D and the man was getting his master's degree... and the harsh reality is that the prospects for a black woman with a Ph.D are pretty bleak, but the prospects for a black man with a master's are plentiful.
What seems to have happened is the tables have turned... when you are growing up, the men approach and express interest in the women... and sometime between leaving high school and leaving college, men realize that they are highly desirable, and that they can now operate like an exclusive club, sitting back and waiting for the women to line up, and then, discriminately deciding who gets access. I actually heard someone from my school describe himself as a commodity, because he was a college educated black man, and every black woman wants one. The ironic part is that this guy has a kid... and the reality is that a Black man with a kid is still desirable, where as a black woman with a kid may as well wear a scarlett letter. Do men with degrees have carte blanche to stand back wait for women to approach them?
My brother is in medical school, and he describes to me all the single attractive women that he knows, and how none of them have men, or even any prospects... and the single guys that he knows are not interested. I don't know who they want to date, but we Black women are not being offered a seat at the table. Compounding this is the trend of "metrosexuality", where men feel like pink, purple and powder blue are now the newest wardrobe essentials... I love hearing people try to explain that "real men wear pink." I think that's interesting. In my mind, a real man sees pink and thinks, that would look good on my girl. He wouldn't be interested. Are you really trying to tell me that all of these men were just dying to wear pink all this time, and only now are getting the chance to indulge their passion for pink? Is it a fad to be gay, or at least questionable enough that I can't tell the difference? As Black women struggle to find love and affection from black men, perhaps we have to reconcieve of out ingrained gender roles... approach the guy, ask him out. But men, you can meet us half way... we want you, we need you. After all, Black love is a beautiful thing.
What seems to have happened is the tables have turned... when you are growing up, the men approach and express interest in the women... and sometime between leaving high school and leaving college, men realize that they are highly desirable, and that they can now operate like an exclusive club, sitting back and waiting for the women to line up, and then, discriminately deciding who gets access. I actually heard someone from my school describe himself as a commodity, because he was a college educated black man, and every black woman wants one. The ironic part is that this guy has a kid... and the reality is that a Black man with a kid is still desirable, where as a black woman with a kid may as well wear a scarlett letter. Do men with degrees have carte blanche to stand back wait for women to approach them?
My brother is in medical school, and he describes to me all the single attractive women that he knows, and how none of them have men, or even any prospects... and the single guys that he knows are not interested. I don't know who they want to date, but we Black women are not being offered a seat at the table. Compounding this is the trend of "metrosexuality", where men feel like pink, purple and powder blue are now the newest wardrobe essentials... I love hearing people try to explain that "real men wear pink." I think that's interesting. In my mind, a real man sees pink and thinks, that would look good on my girl. He wouldn't be interested. Are you really trying to tell me that all of these men were just dying to wear pink all this time, and only now are getting the chance to indulge their passion for pink? Is it a fad to be gay, or at least questionable enough that I can't tell the difference? As Black women struggle to find love and affection from black men, perhaps we have to reconcieve of out ingrained gender roles... approach the guy, ask him out. But men, you can meet us half way... we want you, we need you. After all, Black love is a beautiful thing.
posted by ARP | 5:18 PM
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