The Happy Man's Guide to his Happy Woman
A Primer
Guys always talk about how complicated women are. About how they don't know what we want, and could not, because we don't know what we want. Really, women are not that complex. And ask any happily married man, putting in a little effort to keep the wife happy goes a long way to maintaining a happy home. Happy women LOVE to make men happy. Let me say it again for emphasis. HAPPY WOMEN LOVE TO MAKE MEN HAPPY. We really do. On the converse, an unhappy woman can be… well, we'll just say *unpleasant*.
So, in my gracious magnanimousness, I have decided to help demystify some things for you guys, just in time for the Holidays (though this is a year-round primer).
On gifts:
#1 People like to get what they want.
This is the first rule of giving good gifts. It is rarely a better idea to come up with something that you are not sure she will like if you are certain of something that she will. Some women will ask for things directly, and others will hint. Your job as a guy is to pay attention. We as women are always talking about things we like. When we do this a bell should start going off in your head! DING DING DING! GREAT GIFT IDEA!
If you are shopping with your lady friend, pay attention to what she picks up, points out, or dismisses as too expensive. You are looking at PERFECT GIFTS! (don't forget the gift receipt) Go back to that store when she is not around and buy it for her. So simple, so easy.
#2 Don't avoid cliché gifts just to avoid them.
I hear a lot of guys say that they don't like to give jewelry, flowers, chocolates, etc, because they are too predictable. Most women I know enjoy receiving any and all of the above. I have NEVER heard a women complaining about getting too much jewelry, or too many flowers. Not never.
Feel free to change things up by giving different types of jewelry (bracelets, earrings, anklets, jeweled hair pieces), different types of stones (non-diamond) or different varieties of flowers (non-rose). We love things that are visible, because when we get compliments, we get to brag about YOU!
#3 Ask someone who knows her well
If you are smart enough to have a good relationship with your ladies friends and family, they are GREAT sources for ideas. They will like you more because they see your hard work and effort, and they will realize that you view them as a valuable person in your ladies life.
WARNING: This does NOT mean become best friends with your ladies sisters or gfs. That is BAD for business, and don't even try to say that I suggested it!
On sweet nothings:
Women are constantly assessing how much of a priority we are in your life. True. Ask any woman. We pay a lot of attention to what we are taking a back burner to (friends, family, work, fraternity, sports, etc) and whether we feel that it is fair or appropriate. IF you are particularly busy with things, that is an excellent time to do something thoughtful for your lady friend. This keeps us feeling important, and then we gush to our friends about how great you are. We might even cook you dinner or treat you to dessert...
Being thoughtful is blown way out of proportion by guys. Everything is not about the money, fellas. Being thoughtful can be picking up my favorite goody from Starbucks on the way home, or something that I rarely treat myself to from the grocery store. Being thoughtful can be as simple as an e-greeting or dropping a card in the mail. Stick a picture in the card, or attach one to the e-greetings. You can be silly, or sentimental or sweet. Thoughtfulness is thoughtfulness. Slip a note in your ladies wallet, or on her steering wheel or dash. Send us a love-text or picturemail. If we know that you are thinking of us we are not around, we go into happy overdrive. (which is basically where you always want your lady)
Other thoughtful gestures (that cost a bit more) are picking up a CD, DVD or book that she has been talking about. Treat her to get her nails done. Get her a candle that she loves. Surprise her and rent a movie she has been dying to see. Anything out of the blue that you know she likes makes an excellent thoughtful gift.
A little goes a long way.
On flowers:
Get over the rose. Roses are nice, and come in a variety of colors. Yay. Women like other flowers, too. Orchids, lilies, violets, daisies, sunflowers, the list goes on and on. Try getting flowers in your ladies favorite color: variety is the spice of life. Do not get carnations, unless your lady specifically says that she likes them.
Also, flowers do not have to come in dozens. A single flower can be just as thoughtful as a bunch. Flowers should also be given randomly, and not just on Valentine's and anniversaries. Great flower occasions: airport pick-ups, promotions/achievements, stressful times, and even in the club when that flower guy comes by.
Also, if you have never sent flowers to your ladies job, you are way behind. Every woman dreams of being the one that everyone else is jealous about at work, and every woman in the office will be wishing they were dating someone more like you. (True!) And gentleman, please make the effort to find out the address WITHOUT having to ask your girl. The element of surprise is key! And make sure it isn't her day off... lol.
On food:
We like you to cook for us too. Yes, I said it. And I don't mean Hamburger Helper. There are few things more attractive than a man who cooks, and the more thoughtful, the better. If you know that I love chicken cordon bleu, and you don't know how to make it, look up a recipe and try. This goes for desserts too. One night of cooking effort could put you in high esteem for weeks!
On clothes:
If there is something that you would really like to see us in, then buy it for us! This goes for high-heels, lingerie, jewelry, dresses, skirts, bathing suits, etc. This makes us feel desired, which is always a good state for a woman to be in.
On Birthdays:
Don't let her fool you, almost everyone likes to be fussed over for their birthday. A fuss doesn't have to be elaborate. A crown, a few balloons, a big flashing pin, a sash, anything that your lady friend will be okay with to show off a little for the day. Gigantic cards are nice, or get her office in on a surprise b-day lunch. Use one or two of the aforementioned at one time, not ALL.
And don't forget, a cake should always be involved for a birthday celebration. Get a small cake (serves 2-4) if it is just the two of you.
In conclusion:
If men will commit to making at least one random thoughtful gesture every 4-6 weeks, it would take a very few minutes of your time, and cost you $0-20. However, a woman that feels appreciated and loved is worth her weight in gold.
If you disagree, then you just aren't doing it right. ;-)
If you are being thoughtful, and she is typically unappreciative, LET HER GO. Do NOT marry miserable women!
Lastly, this is a Primer FOR LIFE. You have to treat your lady with thoughtfulness until one of you dies. I'm so sincere.
*For the record, I encourage women to be equally thoughtful, and therefore strongly welcome any and all male suggestions on how to keep men happy (Outside of food, sex and silence.) I also welcome addendums to my own list*
Disclaimer: This list is to be used in moderation. I am not advocating barraging women with gifts and affection, but merely letting the general male population in on small gestures that work effectively and efficiently in their favor. Use at your own discretion, and at your own risk. Overuse may render yield less effective.
Guys always talk about how complicated women are. About how they don't know what we want, and could not, because we don't know what we want. Really, women are not that complex. And ask any happily married man, putting in a little effort to keep the wife happy goes a long way to maintaining a happy home. Happy women LOVE to make men happy. Let me say it again for emphasis. HAPPY WOMEN LOVE TO MAKE MEN HAPPY. We really do. On the converse, an unhappy woman can be… well, we'll just say *unpleasant*.
So, in my gracious magnanimousness, I have decided to help demystify some things for you guys, just in time for the Holidays (though this is a year-round primer).
On gifts:
#1 People like to get what they want.
This is the first rule of giving good gifts. It is rarely a better idea to come up with something that you are not sure she will like if you are certain of something that she will. Some women will ask for things directly, and others will hint. Your job as a guy is to pay attention. We as women are always talking about things we like. When we do this a bell should start going off in your head! DING DING DING! GREAT GIFT IDEA!
If you are shopping with your lady friend, pay attention to what she picks up, points out, or dismisses as too expensive. You are looking at PERFECT GIFTS! (don't forget the gift receipt) Go back to that store when she is not around and buy it for her. So simple, so easy.
#2 Don't avoid cliché gifts just to avoid them.
I hear a lot of guys say that they don't like to give jewelry, flowers, chocolates, etc, because they are too predictable. Most women I know enjoy receiving any and all of the above. I have NEVER heard a women complaining about getting too much jewelry, or too many flowers. Not never.
Feel free to change things up by giving different types of jewelry (bracelets, earrings, anklets, jeweled hair pieces), different types of stones (non-diamond) or different varieties of flowers (non-rose). We love things that are visible, because when we get compliments, we get to brag about YOU!
#3 Ask someone who knows her well
If you are smart enough to have a good relationship with your ladies friends and family, they are GREAT sources for ideas. They will like you more because they see your hard work and effort, and they will realize that you view them as a valuable person in your ladies life.
WARNING: This does NOT mean become best friends with your ladies sisters or gfs. That is BAD for business, and don't even try to say that I suggested it!
On sweet nothings:
Women are constantly assessing how much of a priority we are in your life. True. Ask any woman. We pay a lot of attention to what we are taking a back burner to (friends, family, work, fraternity, sports, etc) and whether we feel that it is fair or appropriate. IF you are particularly busy with things, that is an excellent time to do something thoughtful for your lady friend. This keeps us feeling important, and then we gush to our friends about how great you are. We might even cook you dinner or treat you to dessert...
Being thoughtful is blown way out of proportion by guys. Everything is not about the money, fellas. Being thoughtful can be picking up my favorite goody from Starbucks on the way home, or something that I rarely treat myself to from the grocery store. Being thoughtful can be as simple as an e-greeting or dropping a card in the mail. Stick a picture in the card, or attach one to the e-greetings. You can be silly, or sentimental or sweet. Thoughtfulness is thoughtfulness. Slip a note in your ladies wallet, or on her steering wheel or dash. Send us a love-text or picturemail. If we know that you are thinking of us we are not around, we go into happy overdrive. (which is basically where you always want your lady)
Other thoughtful gestures (that cost a bit more) are picking up a CD, DVD or book that she has been talking about. Treat her to get her nails done. Get her a candle that she loves. Surprise her and rent a movie she has been dying to see. Anything out of the blue that you know she likes makes an excellent thoughtful gift.
A little goes a long way.
On flowers:
Get over the rose. Roses are nice, and come in a variety of colors. Yay. Women like other flowers, too. Orchids, lilies, violets, daisies, sunflowers, the list goes on and on. Try getting flowers in your ladies favorite color: variety is the spice of life. Do not get carnations, unless your lady specifically says that she likes them.
Also, flowers do not have to come in dozens. A single flower can be just as thoughtful as a bunch. Flowers should also be given randomly, and not just on Valentine's and anniversaries. Great flower occasions: airport pick-ups, promotions/achievements, stressful times, and even in the club when that flower guy comes by.
Also, if you have never sent flowers to your ladies job, you are way behind. Every woman dreams of being the one that everyone else is jealous about at work, and every woman in the office will be wishing they were dating someone more like you. (True!) And gentleman, please make the effort to find out the address WITHOUT having to ask your girl. The element of surprise is key! And make sure it isn't her day off... lol.
On food:
We like you to cook for us too. Yes, I said it. And I don't mean Hamburger Helper. There are few things more attractive than a man who cooks, and the more thoughtful, the better. If you know that I love chicken cordon bleu, and you don't know how to make it, look up a recipe and try. This goes for desserts too. One night of cooking effort could put you in high esteem for weeks!
On clothes:
If there is something that you would really like to see us in, then buy it for us! This goes for high-heels, lingerie, jewelry, dresses, skirts, bathing suits, etc. This makes us feel desired, which is always a good state for a woman to be in.
On Birthdays:
Don't let her fool you, almost everyone likes to be fussed over for their birthday. A fuss doesn't have to be elaborate. A crown, a few balloons, a big flashing pin, a sash, anything that your lady friend will be okay with to show off a little for the day. Gigantic cards are nice, or get her office in on a surprise b-day lunch. Use one or two of the aforementioned at one time, not ALL.
And don't forget, a cake should always be involved for a birthday celebration. Get a small cake (serves 2-4) if it is just the two of you.
In conclusion:
If men will commit to making at least one random thoughtful gesture every 4-6 weeks, it would take a very few minutes of your time, and cost you $0-20. However, a woman that feels appreciated and loved is worth her weight in gold.
If you disagree, then you just aren't doing it right. ;-)
If you are being thoughtful, and she is typically unappreciative, LET HER GO. Do NOT marry miserable women!
Lastly, this is a Primer FOR LIFE. You have to treat your lady with thoughtfulness until one of you dies. I'm so sincere.
*For the record, I encourage women to be equally thoughtful, and therefore strongly welcome any and all male suggestions on how to keep men happy (Outside of food, sex and silence.) I also welcome addendums to my own list*
Disclaimer: This list is to be used in moderation. I am not advocating barraging women with gifts and affection, but merely letting the general male population in on small gestures that work effectively and efficiently in their favor. Use at your own discretion, and at your own risk. Overuse may render yield less effective.
posted by ARP | 10:27 PM
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